You love your child.
You're running on empty.
There's a way through.
Most families navigating ADHD and autism don't need more strategies. They need someone who understands what's actually driving the behaviour — and where change sustainably begins.
Log in to your BCAF portal, submit an Add Service Provider request, and we bill directly. No out-of-pocket cost.
The diagnosis answered one question and opened ten more.
Maybe your child just got a diagnosis. Maybe you've known something was different for years but it's finally got a name. Either way, you're probably not short on information right now. You're short on a framework that actually fits your family.
You've tried the strategies. The charts, the timers, the reward systems, the scripts from the parenting podcast. Some of it helped for a week. Most of it hit a wall. And somewhere along the way you started wondering whether the problem was you — whether a better parent would have cracked this by now.
You lose it with your kid sometimes. You know it. You hate it. And then five minutes later you're sitting in the hallway wondering how you got there again. That's not a character flaw. That's a nervous system that's been running on high alert for too long with not enough support.
You're not failing your child. You're doing this without the support you actually need.
Most families come looking for help with their child.
What we often find is that the most sustainable path to change runs through you.
That's not a criticism. It's the opposite. Before children can regulate, they need someone to co-regulate with them. When you have more room inside — when you're less reactive, more grounded, more present — your child's nervous system feels it. Not because you're performing calm, but because you actually have more capacity.
Building that capacity is where this work often begins. And it changes everything downstream.
We don't start with behaviour. We start with the relationship underneath it.
Behaviour management works — until it doesn't.
Most of what families are handed after a diagnosis is compliance-based. Sticker charts, consequence systems, token economies — these approaches assume the problem is motivation. If you get the incentives right, the behaviour changes.
But for children with ADHD and autism, the limiting factor usually isn't motivation. It's nervous system capacity. A child in fight, flight, or freeze can't access the part of their brain that responds to incentives. They're not choosing not to cooperate. They're not regulated enough to cooperate.
When you understand that, the whole picture shifts. The meltdown at the end of the school day isn't defiance — it's a nervous system that held it together all day and finally ran out of room. The shutdown at homework time isn't laziness — it's a brain that's been running on overdrive since 8am and has nothing left.
The strategies aren't wrong. They're just aimed at the wrong level. The work here goes deeper.
Four things that shift when families work with us.
You understand what's actually driving the behaviour
Not as a theory — as something you can see in real time with your own child. The meltdown has a nervous system explanation. The shutdown has a developmental one. When you understand the why, the how changes naturally.
You build your own regulation capacity
This is the work most families don't expect — and most families say was the most important part. When you can stay grounded when things escalate, your child's system has something to co-regulate with. That's not small. That's the mechanism of change.
The relationship becomes the tool
Secure attachment isn't just a nice-to-have for neurodiverse children. It's the foundation that makes everything else possible — learning, regulation, cooperation, resilience. We work to build and repair that foundation, because without it, even the best strategies don't stick.
The whole system shifts
When one person in a family is struggling, everyone feels it. When one person starts to settle, everyone feels that too. The work isn't just about your child — it's about what becomes possible for your whole family when the pressure comes down.
If something about ABA doesn't sit right with you, you're not alone.
Many families come to us specifically because they're looking for something other than behaviour modification. They're not opposed to structure or support — they just sense that starting with compliance isn't starting in the right place.
We don't start with compliance. We start with connection. Not because connection is softer or easier — but because for neurodiverse children, connection is the prerequisite for everything else. Safety in relationship is what the nervous system needs before it can learn, grow, or change.
This isn't an anti-ABA position. It's a different model — one that asks what the behaviour is communicating before asking how to change it.
Support across the whole family system.
Sessions are available with parents individually, with the whole family, or a combination — wherever the work needs to happen.
Parenting challenges
- Understanding meltdowns, shutdowns, and dysregulation
- Reducing conflict and power struggles
- Building cooperation without coercion
- Mornings, transitions, homework, bedtime
- Supporting executive function development
- Sibling dynamics in neurodiverse households
Your nervous system
- Building your own regulation capacity
- Healing triggers and reactive patterns
- Managing parental burnout and overwhelm
- Addressing your own ADHD if present
- Co-regulation skills for intense moments
- Sustainable self-care practices
The family system
- Strengthening secure attachment bonds
- Nervous system-friendly routines
- Helping partners get on the same page
- School and provider coordination
- Building rituals that support regulation
- Breaking intergenerational patterns
I know this from the inside.
I received my own ADHD diagnosis at 38. Seventeen years after I first started wondering what was making certain things so hard. That experience — of finally having a framework that fit — is part of why I do this work the way I do.
As a parent, educator, somatic therapist, and Waldorf educator with over 20 years in the Kootenays, I've seen how nervous system regulation, secure attachment, and practical support can transform not just a moment but a whole family culture.
Based in Nelson, BC. Serving the Kootenays in person — Castlegar, Trail, Rossland, Kaslo, Slocan, Salmo — and virtually throughout BC and internationally.
More about meHonest filters.
Probably a fit if...
- Your child was recently diagnosed and you're figuring out what to do next
- You're tired of approaches that focus only on compliance
- You lose it with your kids sometimes and want to change that
- You sense the behaviour is communicating something you're not quite reaching
- You have ADHD yourself and are navigating parenting with your own dysregulation
- You're looking for an alternative to ABA — something that starts with relationship
- You want practical support alongside deeper understanding
Probably not a fit if...
- You're looking for a structured behaviour program or a diagnosis service
- You want a quick fix — this work takes time and asks something of everyone
- You're not open to the possibility that the most sustainable change might start with you
Not sure which side you're on? That's exactly what the free call is for.
Things people wonder before they reach out.
"We've already tried so many things. I'm not sure anything will work."
That exhaustion is real and it makes sense. Most families who come to us have tried a lot. What's different here isn't a new strategy on top of the old ones — it's a different starting point. When the foundation shifts, what's possible on top of it shifts too. The free call is a low-stakes way to find out whether this feels different.
"My child is the one who needs help — why would I be the focus?"
You're not the focus instead of your child. You're the focus because you're the most powerful lever in your child's environment. A child's nervous system co-regulates with the nervous systems around them. When you have more capacity, your child has more to work with. Supporting you is one of the most direct ways to support your child.
"Can I actually afford this?"
If your child has an autism diagnosis, BC Autism Funding likely covers this work in full — including sessions for you as a caregiver. We bill BCAF directly. A limited number of sliding scale spots are also available for local Kootenay families. Ask about both on your free call.
Less struggle,
more laughter.
Book a free 30-minute call. We'll talk about what's going on, what your family needs, and whether working together makes sense. No pressure. No commitment.
Book Your Free CallNo diagnosis required to reach out.
Most families who find their way here have been trying hard for a long time. They don't need to be told to try harder. They need a different place to start. If that sounds like you — this might be it.